American Politics Today

After watching tonight’s “debate,” I’ve decided to summarize for those of you who didn’t have the “pleasure” of seeing it. America has fallen off an economic cliff. Much of the frustration people are feeling with the debate has to do with the apparent lack of solutions to that problem. I’ll try to summarize some of the 2012 candidates’ apparent reactions to our freefall below, beginning with the de facto Democratic candidate, Barack Obama.

Democrats (Barack Obama): “Let’s build a parachute out of money, and hope the dollar bills we print to make it don’t weigh us down too much.”

Mainstream Republicans (Mitt Romney, Newt Gingritch, et. al.):  “Man, it sure was great being at the top of that cliff…”

Social Conservatives (Tim Pawlenty):  “What cliff? Huh? Hey, why don’t we ban abortion?”

Tea Party / Libertarians (Ron Paul, Michelle Bachmann):  “Good thing we fell off a cliff; at least when we hit bottom, we know we can’t fall any further.”